Secret Dad Business (Part III)
Secret Dad Business Part III
(photo courtesy of Vikki Robinson)
Welcome back to Secret Dad Business (Part III)
Today’s topic is an important one. Everyone has an opinion on it and it can create quite a stir. It seems that most people are set in their ways when it comes to this topic, so if I offend anyone….tough luck. If you don’t agree with me, that’s cool. Please feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts, but try to keep it constructive. Remember people, this is just my opinion based on my own upbringing and my experience as a Dad.
So what is this mysterious topic? Discipline. Discipline for us as Dads (and Mums too), discipline for our kids and in a way, discipline for our society.
Okay, I’ve mentioned the words “discipline” and “kids” in the same sentence. I can picture some of you rolling up your sleeves and preparing to throw in your thoughts. It’s one of those discussion points that fires us up, and rightfully so if you ask me. Our kids are precious (if you don’t think so stop reading this now, dig a hole in the back yard and stick your head in it) so the idea of anyone else ‘disciplining’ our kids or passing judgement on the way we discipline our own kids brings out that primal protective nature in us. I’m glad it does. It means you care about your kids. So give yourself a pat on the back.
I’ve mentioned before that being a parent is tough, and I meant it. There’s no manual on how to do it, no courses to take. You just make it up as you go, hopefully with a bit of pre-thought into it. My Mum always says “There’s two ways to bring up your kids, and both of them are wrong.” I never used to understand that phrase until I became a Dad. She was right. A lot of the time we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t when it comes to raising our kids, especially in the discipline department. We want our kids to have morals and good habits, but we don’t want to be overbearing and dominant. So what do we do?
Unfortunately too many parents these days forgot that their role is just that; a parent. You are not their mate, you are a Dad or a Mum. Your role as a parent is to raise your child so that they grow into a happy, well adjusted, contributing member to our society, and to do that you’ll need to use all the tools available in your parenting tool box; including discipline.
Yes I understand that reasoning with your child might work on some occasions, but I don’t think this is truly possible until your child hits a certain level of maturity and understanding. Plus, to be honest, what are you teaching them? How in any way is this teaching them about what the real world is like? When they go and get a job and their boss says to do something, you can bet your life that he or she won’t be prepared to sit and reason with your child as to why they should do said task. There should be an ingrained sense of respect for their elders/superiors already present. They will not be entering the workforce on an equal playing field as their bosses, so it’s best to learn this fact from day dot.
I hear a lot of ‘older’ people saying “when we were kids we never did that” when observing the behaviour of the younger generations. While on the odd occasion I am forced to call bullshit (case in point; teenage P-Platers driving their cars too fast. I’m sure that’s been going on since teenagers, especially boys, have been allowed to drive) on the older folks selective memory of their childhood, more often than not I have to agree with them. I remember as a kid and a teenager that I grew up respecting and semi fearing the police. These days I see the younger generations hurling abuse and taunting the police. In my heyday that would have resulted in a good whack from the officers and a night in the lock up, but kids/teenagers today know that the police and other officials can’t touch them for fear of being charged themselves. This ‘soft touch’ has generated a generation or two of kids/teenagers who have no sense of respect for authority and a complete lack of understanding of the rules of action vs consequences. For me personally, I fear this problem will have dire results in a few decades. And we can’t really blame the kids for this can we? After all, where is this attitude coming from?
Okay, for fear of being labelled an ‘old timer’ myself, I’ll get back to my point.
Discipline, or lack thereof is everywhere. Recently my wife, my two sons and I went and stayed overnight at a zoo. It was fantastic, but our experience was almost ruined by a group of other families who were also staying there. It was a large group of four families who all knew each other and came together. My family and two others were there separately. As part of our stay over, we were lucky enough to get a ‘behind the scenes‘ tour of the zoo and the animals in their night enclosures. We were warned by the staff though that no children were allowed to carry torches on the tour because if they accidently stunned an animal with the beam, the animal could attack or charge. You can imagine my concern when we started off and I noticed that every single one of this group’s kids had a torch in hand and was happily waving it around so that it flashed in our eyes and all over the place. The staff stopped the tour and asked the parents to take the torches off their children, however it became apparent that this did not occur. What ended up happening? The kids shined their torches at some of the animals who went into a panic and scuttled off. But that’s not the worst of it. A group of these children started throwing rocks. They couldn’t see what they were hitting but whatever it was made a large bang every time a rock hit it. The staff were busy so were unaware of what was going on. I made eye contact with one of the other Dads, the kind of eye contact that says “Do something about your kid or I’ll do something about you” He walked over to the group of stone throwers, stood behind them and laughed at the banging sound?!? I couldn’t believe my eyes! Finally one of the staff heard the noise and came running over to stop the kids. She yelled at them to stop because their target was in fact the Rhino enclosure!! A bloody great rhinoceros was standing right where their rocks were hitting, and he was not impressed. Can you imagine if he’d decided to charge the gate and us? After she yelled at them, each kid threw at least one more rock! What struck me was the utter disregard to authority each one of these kids had, and even more astounding was that it was a direct reflection on their parents.
That’s right, I said it, your kids level of discipline is a direct reflection of you as a Dad (or Mum). If your kid is an unruly nightmare, guess who’s responsible? You. Nobody else, just you. Stop blaming their teachers at school or their naughty little friend Johnny who’s a bad influence. You as a parent are responsible. The same goes for kids who are grossly overweight (and there’s plenty of them around these days). I hear parents using excuses like “He just loves that kind of food,” or “She won’t eat anything else,” or “He cries until I buy it for him,” Wake up! You are a parent, not a friend. Even a good friend would say no anyway! You can’t blame your young kid for being overweight! Who buys the food? Who controls their spending money? Who organises their time so that they can exercise or play sport?
This is where the role of ‘parent’ as opposed to ‘friend’ really comes into play.
As a parent you need to be the one who sets the rules and boundaries. Let’s face it, most kids will try to test those boundaries on occasions just to see how far they can go and to see whether or not you’ll enforce them. And that’s ok, it’s normal. While some kids are blessed little angels, most kids will try their luck every now and then, some more than others. Be prepared for that and follow up on the consequences of them testing the rules. One really important point to remember is this; be fair and be consistent. Boys especially need this from you Dad. They don’t want to live in fear of a Dad who will lose his mind over something small one day, then brush it off the next. That breeds anxiety and no kid deserves that. Be fair with your punishment and consistent. Let them know that breaking the rules will result in consequences. This is a great example of what the real world is like and what life will be like when they get old enough to leave home. Mums this goes for you too. Your kids don’t need an unpredictable Mum when it comes to discipline. They need to know you’ll be fair and consistent with your punishment too. And don’t just leave it to the Dad to do the enforcing. You’re perfectly capable yourself. Dads, that one is for you too. Don’t leave the ‘hard’ or ‘un-fun’ stuff to the Mums. Man up. Remember my mantra, “you’re the dad, not the friend.”
Another very important thing to remember is this; your kids will learn much more about how to behave and self-discipline by watching you, rather than by you yelling and screaming at them. Lead by example. If you get up of a morning and get your chores done before work, maybe even a workout, that’s how your kids will grow up to behave. Get them to join in. They’ll see you keeping active and fit and getting your stuff done around the house and just think this is the norm. If they see you preparing nice healthy meals to take to work, you’re setting a great example for them and they’ll thank you for it later.
I was contemplating talking about a few different methods of disciplining your kids, but I’ve thought better of it. This is a deeply personal experience and one only you can gauge is right for your situation. What I can tell you about is my upbringing and what I do with my sons. When I was a kid my Dad was the disciplinarian of the house, mostly because Mum wasn’t real big and scary and she’s a bit of a softy anyway. Dad is a big bloke, so naturally as a kid, he looked scary when he got mad. It usually only took a glance from Dad and I had an “attitude adjustment.” When I became a teenager though, for lack of a better description, I went mental. All I wanted to do was fight, play sport and do things to get the adrenalin pumping. It was a scary time for my parents. Now although my Dad looked big and scary, he’s actually very placid and calm, so it was hard for them to understand where all my aggression came from. This aggression had me kicked out of several schools. Surely it couldn’t just be pent up energy when I was playing so much sport already? They tried the ‘containing’ method (grounding etc) but that just made me more of a caged dog. They tried a whole bunch of different methods but none of them really worked. Then, one day my Dad recommended I take up martial arts and everything changed. I had found an outlet and yep, it was 99% too much energy. My parents saw the changes in me and encouraged my new interest thoroughly. I have to hand it to my parents for not throwing in the towel and persevering with me. The Army and my wife followed and I’m now Captain Calm. I had found outlets that got all that aggression out and my wife is the most calming person ever, so all was good.
Now I’m a Dad and I use different disciplining methods for each of my two boys. My eldest, B is just like his Mum. Calm, thoughtful, incredibly intelligent and well behaved. For him I use a “lose it” approach. If he mucks up, he loses things like time on the Playstation, or no reading at night. Pretty simple stuff really. My youngest though is a spitting image of me. My parents and Aunts and Uncles all think it’s like stepping back in time when they hang out with him. For his punishment I use what worked on me; the ‘disappointment factor.’ Containing him does no good. It makes him worse, just like it did for me. I keep him busy and if he mucks up, I just let him know that his mother and I are disappointed. That’s enough to keep him in line. Usually though, he doesn’t muck up if he has an outlet for all that energy. Sometimes it’s a matter of thinking outside the square and sometimes it’s the gift of experience.
Okay, I’m going to leave it there. If you take just one point away from this that’s good enough for me. Please remember my mantra; “You’re a parent, not a friend” and use whatever form of discipline works for you in your house. And no, hitting (not smacking) is not a form of discipline. It’s just you losing your cool and showing how little self-discipline you posses. I’ll say it again, “man up.”
Secret Dad Business Part II
Secret Dad Business Part II
(photo courtesy of Vikki Robinson)
Welcome to Part II of Secret Dad Business.
First off, thank you for all your messages, shares and positive feedback. I’m glad so many of you enjoyed Part I.
Let’s pick up where we left off; the birth of our second son (J). The first thing we noticed when J was born was that we were both much more relaxed about everything. As parents, we’d done the whole ‘get up 10 times at night just to check the baby is still breathing’ thing. We’d learnt what a child proof house entailed and we were used to having to pack half the house for every outing. A simple cough from bub didn’t send us into a state of apoplexy; no, we were veterans now.
Still, there were lessons to be learned, and learn them we did.
One of the strangest things I’ve ever encountered is the fact that two children with the same DNA coursing through them could be so different! It’s really bizarre. B & J were two very different boys. That was evident immediately. I’ll give you some examples.
B could talk clearly at a very young age. He was putting sentences together (yes I know, some of them contained inappropriate language care of Yours Truly) but never the less, he could do it. He was able to communicate with us very early on in the piece. J on the other hand could not. I remember gradually becoming more and more concerned at the lack of communication skills J was displaying. Was there something wrong with him? Why wouldn’t he try to speak? Sometimes he wouldn’t even look at me when I spoke to him? B wasn’t like that. Why was J behaving this way?
And there Dads is my point, I was falling into the trap of comparing my kids to each other. And that my friends is WRONG!!! If you can take away just one point from this whole blog, make it this one. Never, EVER compare your kids against each other or any other child for that matter. And for pity’s sake, NEVER compare your kids to stories other parents tell you about their own offspring. Let’s face it; parents talk their kids up. Most of the time they are talking B.S. purely to make themselves feel better.
Back to my point; the comparing thing… don’t do it. Every kid is different, even those with the same DNA. It took me a long time to figure that one out and to be honest, I find myself still doing it on the odd occasion. It’s not fair on the child you’re comparing them to or against. You may not mean it to be, but it can be hurtful for the kids involved. Every kid will be good at some things and equally as important, not as good at others. Accept that. Some parents (especially Dads) refuse to acknowledge that their kids (especially their sons) simply aren’t good at certain things. It’s like it reflects badly on them?!? They have their faults, just like you big fella!
As it turned out, J did have a problem – with his ears! The reason he wouldn’t look at me sometimes or try to talk to us was because his ears would continuously fill with fluid and he couldn’t hear a thing! He was due to have an operation on his ears as the usual grommets were not going to cut the mustard, when one morning his ears simply “popped”. I remember the day clearly, walking in to his room to see him laying in his cot with blood and other fluid stuff all over his head, face and pillow. I fair nearly soiled myself! I thought he’d been beaten up! Naturally I called his name and he looked straight at me, eyes wide with surprise. It was the first time he’d heard my voice clearly. I cleaned him up and took him outside to our front verandah and let him listen to the birds and the nearby traffic. I’ve never seen a kid with wider eyes than he had that day. Then it was a process of teaching him to talk. Whenever we spoke to him we used very clear diction, which is something we never really bothered to do with B. We hadn’t needed to. But as I said, J is different, so we adjusted our methods. Now, we can’t shut him up!
The other major difference we noticed was J’s physical skills were much more advanced than B’s. J began crawling, then walking and running all very quickly and very young. It had taken B a lot longer to do any of those things. Back then I was worried about B. All the other babies his age were crawling and walking way before he could. Parents would often tell me how amazingly well their children could walk, and here was B not even attempting to crawl yet! In hindsight, I needn’t have worried. He’d do it all in his own time and in the grand scheme of things, who cares who walks first and at what age? B’s grown up to be a great soccer player, so my earlier fears were wasted. Lessons learned.
So now we had two young boys who were growing up very, very quickly. The moment they started school, time seemed to speed up somehow. Here’s another lesson for you Dads out there; If I could have my days over I would’ve spent a lot more time with my boys and payed a lot more attention to them BEFORE they started school. I did spend more time with them than a lot of dads, but I shouldn’t compare myself against anyone else. This is purely about how I felt and still feel. Once your kids start school, time will fly by and you’ll see less of them. They’ll be influenced by their friends and their surroundings more so than you, especially the older they get. So take it from me, spend loads of time with them and be present before they start school. I’ll talk about being present later.
That’s not to say once they start school you can just forget about them. Your kids will need you and want you to be around. Things are different these days. It’s not like when I was a kid, when a lot of the Mums stayed at home. Now in most cases, both parents work, so spending time with our kids isn’t as easy as it was. My wife and I both work so we sent our boys to before and after school care. From our point of view, the boys enjoyed going because they got to play with their mates and play games etc. When my work situation changed and I could work from home, we pulled the boys out of care and there was an instant change in them! They were so much happier being dropped off and picked up by Dad than we’d expected. It wasn’t as though they disliked going into care, they just much preferred hanging with Dad. We couldn’t believe the boom they had in attitude and behaviour, and our communication as a family improved dramatically. All because we were spending more time with our boys.
And that my friends is key; we often fall into the trap of thinking we’ve got time to hang with our kids and make changes, but really, we don’t. Time eventually runs out. William Penn wrote “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” Whether it’s something you want to teach your kids, a book you’ve always wanted to read, a language you’ve always wanted to learn, the healthy lifestyle & fit bod you’ve always wanted for you and for your children… eventually time will run out. Someday your kids won’t be kids any more and any habits you wanted to instill on them, it’s too late. They’re grown ups now and your chance to do something really good has gone. Don’t let that happen Dads. Stop what you’re doing and go hang with your kids. Yeah I know you’re busy at work and the work won’t do itself, trust me I know. I’ve been there before. But how many Dads lying in their death beds say “I really wish I’d spent more time in the office”?
In the next installment of Secret Dads Business we’ll be talking about Discipline; why you need it, why your kids need it and why a lot of parents out there need a good shot of “Discipline” up their …., yeah you catch my drift.
Secret Dad Business (Part I)
Secret Dad Business
Secret Dad Business
While this particular blog is all about being a Dad, there’s plenty of stuff in it for you Mum’s too. I suppose it’s for any parent, Mum or Dad. I just didn’t want to speak for Mums as I haven’t ever been a Mum, nor will I ever be a Mum due to the fact that I have a penis. It pretty much limits me to the Dad role. Anyway, I digress…
I wanted to share with you some of the things I’ve learned about being a Dad; stuff that’s worked and stuff that hasn’t, plus other little life lessons. Let’s face it, being a parent is a tough gig, so even if one of these points helps out, it’s happy days and high fives all round.
First off though, let me say this; I take my hat off to all you single parents out there. I have no idea how you do it. It’s hard enough with two parents, let alone just the one of you. I believe that Dads and Mums play a different role for their kids, so donning on the hat of both roles must be a massive daily challenge. I’ll talk more about this later, especially to single Mums where there is no Dad in the picture and no male role model around.
Okay, so the best place to start is probably to give you a bit of background to my situation. I’m a husband and the father of two amazing young boys aged 11 (B) and 8 (J). When my wife and I had B, our whole world changed. Everyone told us it would (especially my Dad), but to be honest, I don’t think either of us quite grasped how much a baby would change our lives. Gone were the days of going to the movies, nights out, regular holidays and just doing whatever we liked when we liked. Spontaneity would become a thing of the past because now, if we wanted to go somewhere, we had to pack half the house into the boot of the car just for this one tiny little dude. Changes of clothes, nappies, bottles, formula, wipes, prams, high chairs…..It was unbelievable that someone so small could need so much kit! We didn’t even take that much stuff with us in the Army! Plus there was so much to buy. All the furniture, etc. It cost us a mint! Then there was the whole process of making the house ‘child friendly’. This was a real trial and error process. Every time we thought we’d done enough, B found a way to prove that theory wrong. It was tough. And we haven’t even spoken about the whole disrupted sleep thing…
There is a reason that Special Forces selectors and Interrogators use sleep deprivation to break people down; it works! Fast! We were lucky because B was a pretty good sleeper, but he did still wake regularly for a feed, burps, farts and poos. At one stage he developed a pretty bad case of colic (gut cramps) so there was even less sleep than normal. I remember feeling like the walking dead a few times, my eyes hanging out of my head and processing information with at least a five second delay. My wife was feeling it worse though as I was often working through the night anyway, so I wasn’t there to help out most of the time with B, but the nights I was at home I was happy to pitch in.
I’ll stop here to point something out. I hear a lot of couples with young kids or babies saying that the Dads don’t get up at night to help out. Most of the time the excuse is “because I work during the day, so I need my sleep at night.”
Sorry guys, but you need to grow a pair.
Do you think your wife/girlfriend isn’t working just because she’s at home? Your work day starts at 9am and finishes at 5pm (usually), hers does not. Hers ends at…oh wait, it doesn’t end because she’s the one getting up through the night! So wake your lazy arse up and help out. Besides, it’s actually a pretty cool time to bond with your baby. ANY time spent with the baby is a good time to bond. so my advice here Dads is to knock back a six-pack of Harden Up and help out.
Right, back to the story. While life had become very, very different for us, it really was for the better. Apart from the greatly reduced number of hangovers we experienced, I can’t even begin to tell you how rewarding it was to see baby B developing into a young boy. His first words, his first steps and that very first smile…it’ll melt your heart. Not least though, is the first time they look at you and say “Dad”. That one moment rocked my world. I’ll never, ever forget it.
It is amazing to watch how quickly young kids absorb new information. They truly are little sponges and take everything in. They watch everything you do and hear everything you say, so it’s probably best to remember that from day one. I found this out the hard way with B as his first sentence was “Kitty is a bitch”. Yep, I didn’t like our cat very much and obviously expressed this feeling often. I couldn’t believe my ears when B repeated it so clearly. The glare I got off my wife would have made Genghis Khan weep with shame and I’m still making it up to her. I love you honey….
Okay, so here’s my second point. Remember this Dads – you are a role model from day dot, especially if your baby is a boy. He’s watching you to figure out what being a man is all about. He hears the way you speak to and about his Mum, so be careful what you say because he’s developing his future attitude towards women. He sees you either training, keeping fit and eating healthy foods or doing the opposite; drinking loads of booze and eating crap. Either way, he’ll grow up thinking that’s the norm and copy your habits. He’s watching how much you do around the house and learning what being a husband and the man of the house entails. He’s gauging how you treat your family. This is how he’s going to treat you later on, so again, watch your step. You are giving him the building blocks to becoming a man; either a good one or an arsehole, it’s up to you.
You are his hero, so act like it.
I’m going to leave it here, just before the birth of our second child. Some of the most important lessons are yet to come, so stay tuned. I’ll be back with the second installment soon.
Cheers,
P
And he’s back!
Up late working
It’s been a long, long time hasn’t it? Sorry about that. I know I said I’d post more often and to date that hasn’t happened. Oh well, I’m here now.
A lot has happened since I last posted, but I’m not going to bore you with the details. Anyone who’s caught up with me of late is probably sick of hearing all about one topic in particular. Something happened late last year that had me fuming. I was so angry and I have been ever since. This anger has kept me awake at night, plagued my thoughts and reeked havoc on my health. Not a good thing I can assure you. But the good news is I’m not angry anymore. I can’t really say why, mostly because I don’t know, but something has changed and I’m not fired up anymore. And it feels MAGIC!!
A wise man told me that holding on to anger is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. I should’ve listened. I know that now. But I feel so much more free now that I’ve let all that frustration go. So my advice to you is this; if you’re angry with someone and there’s sweet f/a you can do about it, let it go. Your time is short, don’t waste it on morons.
As you can see by the photo, I’ve been up late working on some really cool projects. My business partner (and lifelong mate) Damien and I are working on a few people’s personal branding. It’s great fun and we’ve taken on some really brilliant clients. There’s some genuinely talented people out there and it’s a pleasure to be helping them out.
I’ve also got back into writing my book (yep, I’m writing a book) and getting our ducks in a row for the new magazine. It’s all happening!
So, I’ll cut it short this time but I promise to blog more regularly. Lots of news to share and topics to discuss.
Cheers,
P
Good days and bad days
Today’s blog is a short one;
Some days are good, some not so much….The trick is, when you’re feeling shithouse, when it feels like lots of things are going against you (and they may well be), remember how good some days have been! It tends to be easier to remember nasty stuff and forget when things are going well. The photo from today was taken on a really good day. When stuff is going down, I try to remember days like this and it helps.
I’m not going to rant and rave, although I do like to sometimes…I’m going to keep it short.
Stop focusing on the negative and think about all the positive you have in your life. Want examples? Your health, you family, your friends, good music, you favourite meal, the sun, the beach…. There’s so many. Getting bogged down on one or two bad things just doesn’t make sense.
Cheers,
P
Good Guys, Douche Bags, and Belgians
I’m going to save you a bucketload of cash and HECs debts here, so pay attention. You can forget your psychology courses and any attempt to study personality types. Here are the facts: There are three types of people in this world; Good Guys, Douche Bags, and Belgians.
Before you start checking with wikipedia, let me explain….
THE GOOD GUYS
Good Guys are the cool folk. Chances are you rate yourself in this category & if you thought long and hard, you could probably come up with at least 10 more people you know who would fall into the Good Guys branding. Good Guys are easy to spot. When you see them coming you are happy and look forward to seeing them, talking with them and just ‘hanging out’ together. They are easy to get along with, have fun, possess a positive outlook on life and support your endeavours. If you do something for a Good Guy, they will always thank you for it and quite possibly, return the favour at the appropriate time. In short, Good Guys are awesome.
DOUCHE BAGS
Douche Bags are complete tools and are best avoided. Unfortunately Douche Bags are abundant. I’ll bet that if you had a 30 second time limit, you could rattle off the names of at least 20 Douche Bags you’ve encountered in your lifetime. Douche Bags are easily spotted because whenever you see them approaching, you suddenly feel the urge to excuse yourself, soil yourself or turn & run screaming “Save Yourselves!!” For the Douche Bag, there are two ever- present ambitions in life;
1) f*#k over as many people as possible, and
2) bring misery upon all in their company. This includes acquaintances, family members and complete strangers who have the misfortune of meeting them.
In short, Douche Bags are tools.
THE BELGIANS
The Belgians are known for their habit of not taking sides. They side with neither the Good Guys nor the Douche Bags. During arguments or ‘heated discussions’ they choose to remain neutral and appear to be playing space invaders in their minds – they are simply there in body only. Belgians smile and nod when in the presence of Good Guys, however they do the same when in the company of Douche Bags. They are non-confrontational types, often to their own detriment as Douche Bags will exploit this passive approach (often misjudged as weakness). Belgians have been known to appear normal only to explode into fits of pent up rage when pushed too far. This can be quite shocking but highly amusing to all those present, except for the intended target.
In short, The Belgians are nice enough but can not be trusted to take a stand or make decisions.
CROSSOVERS
On occasion, these three personality types can sometimes alter their appearance and it is not uncommon to assume someone is of one type, only to find they are clearly not. For example, a Good Guy may appear to be a Douche Bag after excessive alcohol intake or a particularly bad day, however once the hangover subsides, they will return to their Good Guy status.
Vice Versa, after loads of alcohol, Douche Bags can be considered Good Guys, but rest assured, in time their shape shifter sourcery will be discovered and they will be clearly seen as Douche Bags once again.
Alcohol can also make the Belgians much more decisive and fun, but again, once the effects of the booze wears off they will return to their fence upon which they sit.
THE MORAL OF THE STORY
Life is far too short to be spent with Douche Bags. Find yourself some Good Guys to hang out with and enjoy yourself. Belgians are cool too, just don’t expect them to make decisions or have your back. Try giving them alcohol and record what they say for future bribing purposes. No! Just kidding! That would make you a Douche Bag.
Hang with the Good Guys, avoid the Douche Bags and wave to the Belgians.
That is all.
Paul's Ramblings 